Click above for what became the consented plan, plus Transport page.


"Brent Cross Cricklewood Planning and Transport Manager" (Snigger, snigger.)

"The most exciting planning job in London? [No.]

"Re is looking for an ambitious and experienced town planners [sic] who match our ambition for Brent Cross Cricklewood [that says it all, really, doesn't it?]. Supported by the expansion of the Brent Cross Shopping Centre – north London’s premier shopping destination – the regeneration will result in a new community in ['in'? Well sort of works, but maybe 'of'?] over 7,000 new homes, with up to 4 million square feet of commercial floorspace. Our ambitions extend to a new railway station [based on dubious and challengeable debt financing, that even the Treasury is iffy about] and the redesign [of? Just a suggestion] the local highway network [since Barnet's supplementary planning guidance estimates over 29,000 extra cars a day in the area].

"Outline planning permission has been granted for the Shopping Centre [you could have mentioned that the single yes-no planning application covered several square miles, resulting in a corrupt planning consent], and the London Borough of Barnet has recently announced a short list of four consortia who will bid to be the Council’s new development partner for the Cricklewood area. This will include the preparation of a new Cricklewood master plan and ensuring all planning consents are in place [new consents from scratch (which is fine) or based on the current corrupt one?].

"Working to Re's the [sic] Head of Major Developments and alongside the Brent Cross Cricklewood Project Director, you will drive the planning process and support the established planning team. You will be [an?] innovative, proactive and solution focussed town planner who works [change of tense, there] with developers to craft the best development [before or after the demolition of 205 homes by Hammerson?]. Working alongside the development partners [no harm in using an apostrophe there. No harm at all] teams will be essential, so you will be someone who understand the whole development process [sic], and has confidence in negotiations.

"You will lead the planning and transport team, responsible for oversight of the reserved matters process [secret], negotiations with developers [secret] and input into the Cricklewood master plan [yup, secret]. You will be able to demonstrate your experience on similar [secret] projects, handling a complex work load, and leading a forward thinking planning team [you may then want to jump ship as soon as possible, as so, so many others have done in the past]."

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